After reading this post about things women need to say to themselves daily,
I was inspired to "blog about it."
I am quite the perfectionist, I was raised that way and it wasn't very noticeable when I was younger but it is now. It really only affects certain parts of my life, but it's crucial to my mood every day.
I constantly push myself to be a better fiance, a better daughter and a better woman overall.
I push myself to be a better employee, and I get really frustrated when I mess up.
I hate being a bad friend, and I'm the type of person to go above & beyond for all those I know and come in contact with.
It doesn't matter that my fiance doesn't expect anything from me, and loves me the way I am.
I expect it from myself, as his fiance.
and I constantly worry about being a perfect Mom, and I haven't even had kids yet...
yikes
I talked to someone about this once, and she asked me "What does your fiance expect of you?"
It was a question I didn't know the answer to. Do you?
What does your husband expect of you? What does your kid expect of you? What do your parents expect of you? Your employer? Your friends?...etc
The next important question "Why are my own expectations way higher than anyone elses of me?"
Does anyone else have this problem?
I call it a "problem" because it creates a negative mood when you feel that you haven't done something as perfect as you could have. Don't get "doing your best" confused with "doing it perfect."
As humans, we will never be perfect, and we should never expect anyone to be.
We should utilize our strengths & build on our weaknesses.
Sometimes I don't see my "strengths" as a strength, I just build on strengths AND weaknesses, I try to perform my strengths better and I try to become strong in my weaknesses.
What's the problem with that?
I focus way too much on doing something perfect, rather than focusing on what I actually accomplished. I get mad at myself for my strengths, because I don't do it as well as someone else does. A strength doesn't necessarily mean that you do it perfect, or better than anyone else. It means you do it well. A weakness doesn't mean you CAN'T do it, it means you need to learn how, build on it, and one day that weakness can be a strength.
Quit trying to be perfect!
We will continue to upset ourselves if we are looking for perfection in the people we meet, and the things we do.
So what do we do when we're like this?
Well for starters we have to realize the appreciation that others have for us without expectations,
not the expectation we hold ourselves to.
Before we think that we failed, remember others' expectations of us are way lower than our own.
We have to continue to tell ourselves, we are enough.
It's okay to have days where we need to be lazy
It's okay to not cook dinner a couple nights a week
It's okay to not fold our laundry right when it comes out of the dryer
It's okay to have a messy house, we're busy living in it
It's okay to have a day off that we are not productive
It's okay to ask people what their expectations are of us
It's okay to go above & beyond in our relationships
It's okay to do your best
It's not okay to be mad at ourself for an accomplishment you didn't do "perfect"
It's not okay to think you're not good enough
It's not okay to not appreciate ourselves & the work we do
It's not okay to feel like we have failed
It's not okay to feel unfulfilled
Do not let yourself become a perfectionist, and don't be with someone who doesn't appreciate you.
We can always be better tomorrow, but appreciate yourself for what you did today
No one is perfect, and no one is expecting you to be perfect
Quit giving yourself such high expectations, no one else expects that of you.
At the end of the day, you did your best- and who knows, you might have even exceeded someone's expectations of you :)
Use this picture as a background on your phone, write this message on your mirror, whatever you do-recite it to yourself every day and believe it.
