They are home!....Finally

Something you should know about me, I hate when plans change...or in this case, planes. Why does that have anything to do with this post? WELL John & his daughter were flying home Sunday, they were supposed to be making it home by 11pm John called me after they had been flying from Phoenix and said "well, we landed, in Phoenix" WHAT THE? I thought he was tricking me for a minute, or that maybe I lost track of all his flights... He fell asleep, but apparently after they had left Phoenix, and was MINUTES away from the destination they decided to turn around and go back to Phoenix. Are you kidding me? Wouldn't you just go to your closest destination if you were having trouble instead of flying all the way back. I mean really? Why? I was so frustrated, and so was he. Anyway, they ended up getting home at 2 AM on Monday, and poor John had to work at 5 AM.   The next morning I woke her up and took her to her Grandma's for the day Surprisingly, she was really comfortable with me, I was so glad When I picked her up that day she greeted me with open arms & a big hug She had made me all these cute drawings and notes I might of teared up a little while reading them So sweet! After her dad got home we went to the park She hates pictures & it was hard to get a good one here's one of the many failed attempts (she wanted to hold Chance) but I finally got her to smile for this one Isn't she beautiful?        That night I realized how different our life was with a kid We didn't come home & sit on the couch and cuddle, we played dolls & had bath time We didn't cook one dinner, we cooked two John & I didn't fall asleep together, I laid next to her until she fell asleep which wasn't until about midnight, so I also realized that our time is now her time.   The amount of time we sleep What we eat Where we go What movie we watch When I get to give my fiance a kiss after a long day It's all up to her   and honestly...I love it and wouldn't have it any other way. I'm sure it will get more challenging, yet more rewarding The night ended with her saying "Jessica, I hope you'll be my step-mom forever" I should have recorded that for the days she might hate me... haha I love John, but both of them together are the best thing that's ever happened to me.   I'm so blessed to be a part of their lives. We only get to see her so often, but I will cherish these moments we spend together as a family I love being her step-mom

Catching Up

  Our life has been pretty crazy since the last time I blogged, so let's catch up! On Friday, John flew to North Carolina to pick up his little girl, I went camping up on our Uncles ranch with my parents, niece & nephew. My dad got a "side-by-side ATV" I forgot to take a picture of it, so I found this one on the internet just to give you an idea of what the heck I'm talking about.  

It's awesome

We spent a couple hours cruising around on this, Dad even let me drive it! Shocker

My niece Riley & I on our way up to the Ranch

On Saturday it was my friends Wedding Day!!

She was beautiful, and so was the wedding.

Lawn Games

Cake Pops

Taco Bar - seriously AMAZING

Beautiful Bride

Great music

I've known Jasmine (the bride) for awhile, her sister Whitney is my best friend (top middle pic) I am so happy for her & Alex, they've been together since they were 14 years old!!

I'm so glad I was able to be there to celebrate with them!

Best Wishes Mr & Mrs Shields!

On Fathers Day we had a big lunch at my parent's house

BBQ Ribs

Corn on the cob

Baked beans (Dad's famous recipe)

Shrimp pasta salad

all the fix-ins for a great meal

YUM!

Every year I have the hardest time choosing a card for my dad, I either want to make him laugh, or make him realize how much I really love him. I usually go with the mushy ones but I actually bought him TWO cards this year because I couldn't help it, the card was too funny not to get.

I should have taken a picture, but.... I didn't, so i'll just explain it.

The front said

"Dad, you're like a Father to me"

the inside said

"No but really, I mean that"

All I could think about was the guy from the Hangover, so I had to get it.

My dad & I have a weird sense of humor, so we thought it was hilarious.

I spent the rest of the day relaxing in my parents backyard enjoying this fresh beverage

Let's hope that hour in the sun gave me a little color

I've decided against tanning beds (I spend my money on a lot of stuff, but spending money on skin cancer is not on my list).... and I haven't found a fake tan that I am brave enough to try...

If you're reading this, and you have a favorite "fake tan" lotion that doesn't make you orange and you can use it all over including your face- comment & let me know what it is cuz this girl is WHITE.

I need some color before my wedding (53 days!), or I'll blend in with my wedding dress.

Gross

So that was our crazy weekend

John &his daughter got home Monday at 2am....that story is coming soon :)

Let's just say, I love being a "step-mom"

Stay tuned!

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It's okay to hit rock bottom

Let me start out this blog post by posting a familiar quote by Mr. J.K. Rowling

 

"Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life"

  Rock bottom is different for everyone especially if drugs and/or alcohol is involved in your life. For me, I have felt like I hit rock bottom a few times, but I have found that once you have hit rock bottom, you'll know it. You might hit it once, you might hit it a few times but it just means you can start over. Think of it as a fresh clean slate that God is giving you. I hit rock bottom in December of 2012 I started "dating" this guy in October, and it's not worth the long story so I'm going to keep it short I was going to move to his hometown, I quit my job, he came out to meet my parents around Christmas. Anyway, shit went down, I changed his flight & sent him home early and sat in my room, boxes packed, in tears. Whatever plan I had...wasn't going to work anymore. I had no where to go, I didn't have a job, and I had money to last me the rest of the month. On top of it all, my heart had been broken again.   I didn't want to, but I called my Mom in tears. She already knew what was going on from when it all went down, I tell her everything. Then she said these words....
"Honey, you are always welcome home, even if it's just to get you back on your feet you're always welcome here" Thanks Mom....but That small town was the last place I wanted to be, the last place that ever felt like "home"...  but I didn't have a choice The UHAUL was coming tomorrow, and the new girl was moving in the next day. So two days before Christmas I drove with a car full, following the Uhaul of the rest of my stuff and I was headed back "home." I don't really remember much of that drive, besides the fact that I never stopped crying. I cried myself to sleep that night, and the rest of the week. I barely ate, I got rid of my Facebook because I didn't want anyone to know I was back in town, and I tried my hardest to be a hermit. I still had no job... I felt worthless, I felt like I had failed and worst part was, I didn't have a plan. I was being so negative!   I want everyone to know that rock bottom is not a negative thing, you might feel like you've lost everything, and you can't get anything back...but try and be positive, turn to your family & friends but most of all...turn to god. I knew I needed God, I needed him way before this but I was finally ready to admit it So I started reading my bible, I started listening to Christian speakers, and I started listening to Christian Radio. I grew up LDS/Mormon, and for my own personal reasons I had to search outside of that religion. I wanted to. I believed in Christ, and I needed his guidance, right now there wasn't a right/wrong religion or church. The first day I started listening to the Christian radio they had a 30 day challenge, for a New Years Resolution. "Listen to this station for thirty days, and notice how much more positive you are, how much more you enjoy life, and how much happier you become." It was like a message to me through the radio, and I did it. 30 days of Christian radio I started to be more proactive looking for a job, I spent all my downtime with my family, I visited my Grandmother more, I hung out with friends from high-school & met new friends and slowly...I was rebuilding my life. I didn't have to have 100 friends to get me through it, I didn't have to be busy 100% of the time, I needed my alone time and I needed to find my passion in life, I needed to smile even when I didn't want to, and I needed to dig deep into my soul and find kidness to pour out to others even on my worst days. I focused on everyone else's happiness around me, and I soon became happier. I let go of all the bad people in my life, anyone who was causing drama, anxiety, bad feelings..etc I let it go, I cut the cord, I removed it from my life.   Rock bottom was not a negative part in my life, it was what I made it out to be. At first it was the worst thing I ever went through & all I saw was the negative parts of it. I didn't realize I was becoming a new me, a happier me, and through it all- I wasn't just growing closer to my family, or my friends, but I was finally growing closer to God. Rock bottom got me where I am now. I wasn't where I wanted to be, but I know now, I'm where I need to be

 

Memorial Day Weekend for the Kirks

This weekend was full of activites and time spent with loved ones We enjoyed every minute It's amazing how much more you get done with an extra day off! On Saturday night we took flowers to my Grandma's grave after dinner with my parents They finally got her date put in, and her grave looked beautiful. (I also finally decided to write a post about my Grandmother, so I'll post that sometime this week.)  

    We left petunias, of course, it was always her favorite flower. Sunday morning we went to church for John's cousins baby blessing, after that we decided to take a spontaneous road-trip to Grand Jc, CO.      Victorias Secret, Buckle, Cabellas, American Eagle, Red Lobster, Target...here we come! When we got there, the weather was fine, and then when we left the mall we were in a down pour! My hair was ruined after this....  We were starving after all our shopping! We originally wanted to try something new but we settled for Red Lobster and it wasn't too bad... Plus I've been craving crab for months & there isn't really anywhere to get it here     After dinner we headed back to Target a couple hours before closing to get our Wedding Registry started....talk about FUN. I felt like a kid, running around with the scanner & scanning pretty much anything & everything we want/need. We had a blast      See what the rain does to my hair? YUCK.   We came back later that night, and the next day was Memorial Day. Family time, visiting John's brothers grave, and a family BBQ! The weather was so warm and beautiful        I'm pretty blessed to have such amazing future nephews & a niece! I love them :)  

 And that was our weekend! I hope you guys all had a great Memorial Day Weekend and remembered your loved ones, as well as those whom have fought for our country, our freedom, and our lives. God bless you all!