The emotion I can't control

There is a feeling that causes an emotion I can not control, when I think of my Grandmother. That feeling, is the feeling I get when I realize she's not coming back and a feeling of emptiness without her here. Not just the loss, but the memories of her Talking to someone who knew her, and exchanging stories Trying to make her swedish pancakes in my kitchen Her scent that is still on one of her coats The pieces of tissue insides the pockets of her jackets The feeling of her house, not being "hers" anymore Her voice on a voice-mail I've had on my phone for years Listening to the songs "How Great Thou Art" or "Wind Beneath My Wings" Remembering her laugh.
I just can't control it When the tears start, they don't stop and when I try to stop them, they flow faster. With every memory comes a tear, with every tear I feel my heart break, and every heart break I feel grief I'm worried if I don't think of her, I'll forget the memories, and forget her scent, or forget her voice I want to remember her, but every memory hurts It's almost been 7 months since she left us, and I thought it'd get easier with time ......but it doesn't I feel so selfish The only thing that makes it easy is to know where she is, and who she's with To know that the veil is thin, and she's with me more times than I think and the best part, is knowing that one day I'll see her again.... Until then, there will always be a piece of me missing. I love you Grandma Ila, and will miss you always....

Reunited

The sewing machine and I were recently reunited. I'm being serious. It's been since 7th grade since I've touched one, in a class at school & then some projects at my Grandma's.
Recently, my Grandma passed away, I haven't figured out how to blog about that yet but maybe one day I will. Anyway, I've been doing all these hobbies & activites as a "therapy" to keep her in my thoughts & sometimes I feel her right there doing it with me.
 Call me crazy, but it's my kind of peaceful.

These activities so far include making her swedish pancakes, and now, sewing.

So what is this masterpiece I'm working on?

It started three weeks ago, I was talking to my friend who had started cutting fabric for a new "chevron quilt," she had tried talking me into doing it with her and I kept telling her no.

I'm pretty sure any project like scrapbooking or sewing that I've started, is still somewhere in a box from 5+ years ago.

Well, then she talked me into it

Plus, I needed a project, another hobby, and my Grandma was the queen at sewing.

 

I picked my fabric, I spent hours cutting them into 5 1/2 inch squares and not one of them is an actual square. :/

Whatever

I started on the sewing machine on Saturday, and I felt like a boss!

I can't wait to get it done

....In 5 years

ok. not really.

 

The whole time I was doing this, I remembered my Grandma teaching me how to thread a needle, and how to guide the fabric through, just like she taught me in 7th grade.

I'm doing this for me, but I'm finishing it for her

Here's a sneak peek of the layout, more pictures to come!