I guess you could say I've always had my head in the clouds.
Having my head in the clouds, made me blind.
Blind to the pain, to the heartbreak, and to the lies.
No matter who I was dating, I was "happy"
For a long time, I was taken advantage of, lied to, cheated on, and controlled in more than one relationship.
MORE THAN ONE! How did I let it happen twice?
Again, I was blind
After you go through these relationships you go through this lack of confidence, wondering if it was something you did wrong that made you get treated that way. You constantly ask yourself "what could I have done better to make him really love me?"
Guess what
It wasn't me. I mean, don't get me wrong, it takes two and I'm sure I had something to do with it but I have realized, in my opinion, there are two types of guys in the world.
One who gives 100% and is ready for a relationship
One who takes 100% who likes the benefits & convenience of the relationship
That might sound judgmental, but it's true.
After I realized that, I knew I wouldn't settle for less, I was ready to give 100% but wasn't going to let someone just take it all. I knew the red flags, I knew the signs and I wasn't going to fall for another heart breaker. For awhile I went through the stage of "hating all guys" and guarding my heart, the way that one does when they've had their heart torn apart and their "dream" became a nightmare. The never ending maze of relationships, the mind games, and finding the one just became too exhausting. This wasn't fair to my now, fiance. Because he fell into the first category, he gave (and still does) 100% and once I opened my heart and trusted him, I gave 100% and we made it work, because we both wanted it.
It wasn't just me this time, and I have to tell you, I've never felt more relaxed in a relationship.
Relationships are NOT meant to be forced, they aren't meant to be painful. Of course you have your fights, and arguments but don't ever stay in a relationship that makes you feel that you are doing something wrong and you aren't good enough.
Also, never get in a relationship when you yourself aren't happy or satisfied with yourself. You will constantly pick out the flaws and see the weaknesses of him, and yourself, and it will become unhealthy.
Don't let yourself settle because you think that star you wished on is now gone, and that dream you once had became a nightmare once or twice. Sometimes you have to get through the bad, to really appreciate something and someone great.
