2014 recap

2014 was a year for the books to say the least!

I've summed it up in a few words, and also added some links to previous posts so if you're new to the blog check them out and catch up!

Grief: After my Grandma passed away I was living the many stages of grief. I was lost in all my emotion, I felt like I was in a daze almost every day, and if I wasn't bawling my eyes out curled up on the couch I was sitting in silence with puffy blood-shot eyes. After being miserable, I tried to celebrate her life, instead of mourn her death. I started a quilt in March because she used to love quilting and I was hoping it would make me feel closer to her, but unfortunately life happened and I never finished it. I still have my days, but i'm just happy she's no longer in pain & with her sweetheart again. I really could have not gone through this without my husband though, he was there to hold me when I couldn't hold myself together, and he knew what to say to me during it all. Her passing away was really the day that changed my life.





Job: I started a new job in January as a medical receptionist at a new clinic in our community. I've loved it, I love the people I work with and I love my responsibilities. I've never worked in the medical field before so that's new but I learn a lot, I've also learned I still can't look at needles or blood without getting light headed ha ha.

Stress: On top of all the grieving, I was planning our wedding. I had no idea what I was getting myself into on that one, and I'm so thankful to have the help that I did. I don't think I ever went FULL Bridezilla but I did get pretty close a few times. I really should have just had a destination wedding on a beautiful island with close family, it probably would've been cheaper. I know what you're saying "I told you so..."

Challenging: I had already met John's daughter when John & I went fishing on our first date, I had hung out with her for a few days before she had to go back home and she loved me, and I loved her. In fact if you read about the story of when we started dating, I already knew I loved her before I knew I loved him ha! But being a step-mom is a whole other story. Once she realized that I was going to be in her and her daddy's life forever, it got hard. She visited us for two weeks over the summer and it was the first time my heart felt broken and complete all at the same time. She knew what to say to get to me, and some days she would push all my buttons. There would be days I couldn't wait until John got home and I'd lock myself in our bedroom and just cry, I felt weak, I didn't feel good enough to be her step-mom let alone his wife. Then there are the days we'd get it all right, she'd be ready when I picked her up from her Grandma's after work with open arms and a pile of drawings she drew for me & her dad, she'd eat what I cooked, she'd take a bath and brush her teeth and we'd end the day cuddled up watching a movie. I'm not even a Mom so I can't tell you how hard it is to be a parent, all I know is that it's really challenging to be a step-mom but it's also very rewarding, and I'm sure it's really hard for her to have different rules than what she's used to. 

Friendship: I gained a few, I lost a few. You'd think that weeding out negativity in your life is a positive thing, but it's still change & it's something I can never get used to. It's hard not having that friend to call/text anymore, and it sucks because you constantly ask yourself what you could have done better, and you blame yourself when really it's just a toxic relationship, and it happens to everyone, you just have to let it go. If you're not losing friends, you're not growing up. 

Wedding: I married my best friend & became Mrs. Jessica Lynn Kirk on 08-09-2014. It was a stressful and challenging few days leading up to it but it was THE BEST DAY. I had the best bridesmaids, and everyone I wanted to be there was there. The music was great, the cake was delicious, our photographer was amazing and I LOVED MY DRESS, even though I went through hell to find it. The only thing that would have made the day better is if it was longer, and if John's daughter was there, and my best friend could have made it from Texas.

Medical: After surgery we found out that I only really had one Fallopian tube that was working. If you know me at all, you know I've always wanted to be a wife & a mother. I was told that my chances of conceiving were basically cut in half, it was depressing, frustrating, and really hard to hear. I can be really negative about it and let it get me "down," but really only time will tell.

Marriage: It's amazing how much you truly learn about someone when you're married to them. We learn something new about each other every single day, he should know by now that I'm very sensitive and I should know that he's always joking. We've gone through a lot in only 4 months of marriage, they say the first year is the hardest & I agree. We are just getting used to having the title of "Husband" and "Wife" and learning all sorts of responsibilities and expectations. I blog a lot about the lessons of marriage and what we're learning as we go, and I love hearing all of your responses to those posts. Even when we're fighting at bedtime I still find a way to reach my foot under the covers to touch his, so cheesy I know but I can't stand the "wall" between us. I found this quote on Pinterest the other day and it's exactly how I feel about Mr. Kirk.

I can't wait to see what 2015 brings us!

What were your favorite parts of 2014?