Catching Up

  Our life has been pretty crazy since the last time I blogged, so let's catch up! On Friday, John flew to North Carolina to pick up his little girl, I went camping up on our Uncles ranch with my parents, niece & nephew. My dad got a "side-by-side ATV" I forgot to take a picture of it, so I found this one on the internet just to give you an idea of what the heck I'm talking about.  

It's awesome

We spent a couple hours cruising around on this, Dad even let me drive it! Shocker

My niece Riley & I on our way up to the Ranch

On Saturday it was my friends Wedding Day!!

She was beautiful, and so was the wedding.

Lawn Games

Cake Pops

Taco Bar - seriously AMAZING

Beautiful Bride

Great music

I've known Jasmine (the bride) for awhile, her sister Whitney is my best friend (top middle pic) I am so happy for her & Alex, they've been together since they were 14 years old!!

I'm so glad I was able to be there to celebrate with them!

Best Wishes Mr & Mrs Shields!

On Fathers Day we had a big lunch at my parent's house

BBQ Ribs

Corn on the cob

Baked beans (Dad's famous recipe)

Shrimp pasta salad

all the fix-ins for a great meal

YUM!

Every year I have the hardest time choosing a card for my dad, I either want to make him laugh, or make him realize how much I really love him. I usually go with the mushy ones but I actually bought him TWO cards this year because I couldn't help it, the card was too funny not to get.

I should have taken a picture, but.... I didn't, so i'll just explain it.

The front said

"Dad, you're like a Father to me"

the inside said

"No but really, I mean that"

All I could think about was the guy from the Hangover, so I had to get it.

My dad & I have a weird sense of humor, so we thought it was hilarious.

I spent the rest of the day relaxing in my parents backyard enjoying this fresh beverage

Let's hope that hour in the sun gave me a little color

I've decided against tanning beds (I spend my money on a lot of stuff, but spending money on skin cancer is not on my list).... and I haven't found a fake tan that I am brave enough to try...

If you're reading this, and you have a favorite "fake tan" lotion that doesn't make you orange and you can use it all over including your face- comment & let me know what it is cuz this girl is WHITE.

I need some color before my wedding (53 days!), or I'll blend in with my wedding dress.

Gross

So that was our crazy weekend

John &his daughter got home Monday at 2am....that story is coming soon :)

Let's just say, I love being a "step-mom"

Stay tuned!

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It's okay to hit rock bottom

Let me start out this blog post by posting a familiar quote by Mr. J.K. Rowling

 

"Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life"

  Rock bottom is different for everyone especially if drugs and/or alcohol is involved in your life. For me, I have felt like I hit rock bottom a few times, but I have found that once you have hit rock bottom, you'll know it. You might hit it once, you might hit it a few times but it just means you can start over. Think of it as a fresh clean slate that God is giving you. I hit rock bottom in December of 2012 I started "dating" this guy in October, and it's not worth the long story so I'm going to keep it short I was going to move to his hometown, I quit my job, he came out to meet my parents around Christmas. Anyway, shit went down, I changed his flight & sent him home early and sat in my room, boxes packed, in tears. Whatever plan I had...wasn't going to work anymore. I had no where to go, I didn't have a job, and I had money to last me the rest of the month. On top of it all, my heart had been broken again.   I didn't want to, but I called my Mom in tears. She already knew what was going on from when it all went down, I tell her everything. Then she said these words....
"Honey, you are always welcome home, even if it's just to get you back on your feet you're always welcome here" Thanks Mom....but That small town was the last place I wanted to be, the last place that ever felt like "home"...  but I didn't have a choice The UHAUL was coming tomorrow, and the new girl was moving in the next day. So two days before Christmas I drove with a car full, following the Uhaul of the rest of my stuff and I was headed back "home." I don't really remember much of that drive, besides the fact that I never stopped crying. I cried myself to sleep that night, and the rest of the week. I barely ate, I got rid of my Facebook because I didn't want anyone to know I was back in town, and I tried my hardest to be a hermit. I still had no job... I felt worthless, I felt like I had failed and worst part was, I didn't have a plan. I was being so negative!   I want everyone to know that rock bottom is not a negative thing, you might feel like you've lost everything, and you can't get anything back...but try and be positive, turn to your family & friends but most of all...turn to god. I knew I needed God, I needed him way before this but I was finally ready to admit it So I started reading my bible, I started listening to Christian speakers, and I started listening to Christian Radio. I grew up LDS/Mormon, and for my own personal reasons I had to search outside of that religion. I wanted to. I believed in Christ, and I needed his guidance, right now there wasn't a right/wrong religion or church. The first day I started listening to the Christian radio they had a 30 day challenge, for a New Years Resolution. "Listen to this station for thirty days, and notice how much more positive you are, how much more you enjoy life, and how much happier you become." It was like a message to me through the radio, and I did it. 30 days of Christian radio I started to be more proactive looking for a job, I spent all my downtime with my family, I visited my Grandmother more, I hung out with friends from high-school & met new friends and slowly...I was rebuilding my life. I didn't have to have 100 friends to get me through it, I didn't have to be busy 100% of the time, I needed my alone time and I needed to find my passion in life, I needed to smile even when I didn't want to, and I needed to dig deep into my soul and find kidness to pour out to others even on my worst days. I focused on everyone else's happiness around me, and I soon became happier. I let go of all the bad people in my life, anyone who was causing drama, anxiety, bad feelings..etc I let it go, I cut the cord, I removed it from my life.   Rock bottom was not a negative part in my life, it was what I made it out to be. At first it was the worst thing I ever went through & all I saw was the negative parts of it. I didn't realize I was becoming a new me, a happier me, and through it all- I wasn't just growing closer to my family, or my friends, but I was finally growing closer to God. Rock bottom got me where I am now. I wasn't where I wanted to be, but I know now, I'm where I need to be

 

To all you Mothers

  Here's a single stem rose for all the amazing Mothers in my life! Including my own of course :) Whether you're a future sister n law, mother-in law, cousin, sister n law, or a friend, this is for you! I would have loved to been able to afford to send this rose to your porch today, but I have so many of you in my life that I couldn't possibly afford it. I hope this blog post/picture of a rose will suffice  

  First of all, you are all HUGE examples to me The way you teach your kids The way you love your kids The way you discipline your kids The way you raise your kids The way you feed your kids The way you put your kids first   With every Motherly act you do, I notice, and you might not know it but you're teaching me. YOUR example is getting me ready to be a Mother Whether it's next year, two years from now, or five years from now The way I mother my children, will be because of the great examples in my life, those great examples are YOU. Because of you, I'm excited to be a Mother, I can't wait to have kids. I know the struggles through watching you, but I also know how to get through them, because you have. I know that every struggle I will have, most Mothers have gone through the same, and they've lived, and I will too.   Take this day to celebrate All the times you thought you had failed as a Mother or the times you thought you failed at being a friend, while trying to be a Mother The times you thought you didn't give your husband enough love because you give your kids so much The nights you could finally sleep but stayed up all night worrying about how to be better Celebrate the times your kids said they hate you, because you know you're doing something right The times you finally had some alone time, but were too busy wondering what your kids were doing The whole week you spent dealing with a plague of sickness with every child, and yourself Those days you turned off your phone, to be with your child The times you've had to leave work, to take care of your child The days you were running late, and had to change your clothes twice because of some kind of baby/child bodily fluid The days you had to change your plans, because you're on your kids time, not your own All the photos you've captured of your children, you'll never forget those moments How do I know all this? Because of your stories, and your experiences you've shared with me. Thank You.   Just celebrate YOU.  You haven't failed, and you never will. You've just gotten better, you might not see it- but I do. You're a rockstar Mom(s), and because of your example, I'll be a rockstar too.  I'm so grateful for all of you in my life I love you all! Happy Mothers Day! Hug your babies tight today, turn off your phones, and spend time with those who matter most.