If you're in a serious relationship, an engagement, or a marriage you've heard/said this phrase once or twice.
"You're doing it wrong"
I try not to say this, but I think it more often than I should when John is doing something.
In fact, living together is HARD remember this post awhile back?
You'll have things you want done a certain way and guess what? Too bad, they won't get done how you want it.
They won't say the things you want them to say
and they won't do, what you want them to do.
They are a human, not your puppet.
If you want a puppet, don't get married, just be single the rest of your life because no one will ever do everything perfect, or your way. Unless you can find someone to clone you.
Harsh? Maybe, but it's the truth.
There's something I've realized through all of this though, not only do you have to pick your battles but you have to realize that something is getting done, whether it's the "perfect" way or not.
Something is getting done, that you don't have to do later. Maybe you didn't even have to ask!
That's a bigger bonus!
John helps so much with the dishes at home, and he helps when I need to paint, or put up decor or anything really, but I've chose to just not watch him when he does it.
Because, he does not need my criticism and & I do not need to criticize.
He's helping me, and I'm so grateful.
So next time your man helps you do the dishes, don't worry about how he loaded the dishwasher
If he makes dinner, but does it different than you wanted, appreciate it
When he does the laundry and shrinks one of your favorite shirts, smile and give him a hug and say thank you....LAUGH about it!
When you come home to decor hung in all the wrong places, take a deep breath, give him a kiss, say thank you....and if you're me, fix it later.
If you do get frustrated, laugh at yourself, and laugh together because whatever your fighting over, is a pretty silly thing if it has anything to do with doing something the wrong way.
Taking these things too seriously is just going to make you frustrated and you'll put more energy into that than you would taking a deep breath and letting it go. Plus who wants to live with someone who is reminded that they never do anything right?
My friend had a blog post the other day called Marriage is what you make it
Wow, isn't that the truth!
I'm not even married yet & I can already understand that
"Marriage is hard"
I've heard that too many times to count, but I know that it's how you react to situations, how you communicate, and how you express your feelings. It can be hard, it can be fun, it probably won't be easy but nothing easy is worth it.
You can wake up every day and make a choice how your day is going to go, why not wake up every day and decide the kind of wife you're going to be. I know that there are days I don't give John 100%, but the next day I make up for it and give 110%, and he does too.
A lot of times we might have one of those days when we feel like no matter what happens, it's going to piss us off. These days, I try really hard, to take a deep breath and realize how lucky I am.
If I see all the dishes in the wrong spot when I go to cook dinner, I take a deep breath and smile.
It makes me realize that not only am I going to go through this with John, but when I teach our kids how to put their clothes away, or help with chores around the house, they aren't going to do it perfect.
BUT they're going to do it, and it gets done.
I just need to relax and let things get done, no matter how perfect it is.
Life isn't perfect
Our house isn't perfect
Our relationship isn't perfect
but the days we aren't perfect, are the days we're growing and learning together
....and I think that's what it's all about.
