I thought I loved you then

Yes, I know I'm supposed to be recovering. It's been a week and I should still be "resting" but I'm stubborn, and I'm inspired to blog. So i'll take a break from Netflix and blog about how I became Mrs. Kirk.

Each one of us know how we met the one we married.

We know how we felt, we remember our first date, our first kiss...and so on

We remember the hesitations, the "what ifs" and the butterflies with every text, or every call.

We, as women remember, but does he?

I'm a sappy hopeless romantic at heart, I love love stories, and I especially love ours.

I love the life that we live, the silly arguments we look back & laugh at, and having this amazing man by my side through everything. 

Last night we were laying in bed, lights on, face to face just talking, laughing, and enjoying each other. Somehow we got on the subject as to how we started dating.

I'm really emotional, like, a real cry baby. The story of "us" triggers tears every single time.

Happy tears. He was the best thing that's ever happened to me.

But, we talked about it. I asked him what he remembers about me, and it went clear back to high-school. When I was a sophomore and he was a senior, he said he remembered my hair-style, judging by the picture it was pretty unforgettable. I had a poof that was permanent by then, I mean the poof was "in" and some girls had it rattier & bigger than mine (hard to believe I know).

We talked about all the memories we have had together before we even started dating. When I wasn't living in town & went out for Halloween with a friend, and I was wearing a pretty inappropriate outfit and I was dancing on the blocks at this bar/club. I kept telling him "I don't work here, I don't work here" (as a go go dancer) and he said I just wouldn't stop telling him that I didn't work there. LOL Apparently I was afraid it would get back to my hometown & the rumors would start, but it didn't. He said "I remember you being just as beautiful as you've always been."

During those 10 years between high-school & when we started dating a lot was happening in both of our lives, he would always try to talk to me on Facebook and I was "too busy" but looking back, there were so many run-ins with each other that was, well, fate. 

The time at Halloween, and then a few years later we took photos in a photo booth at my best friends wedding, and then a couple years after that, I moved home. 

I never knew he liked me like that, he said he was too scared to do anything about it.

There's this bar that everyone goes to in this little town, it's like a bad high-school reunion. Anyway, when I moved home I started going out with friends & John would be there but I just thought of him as a friend- nothing more. We would sit at a table and have these long conversations about life, we'd talk about how sad it is to see good relationships fail, how we were both "old souls" and believed in a long lasting marriage, growing old with the one we married and never giving up. We talked about kids, we talked about drinking, and growing up, we just talked. He remembers me more than I do, probably because I thought I was just talking to him as a friend and he didn't see it like that.

It took awhile for him to finally ask me out, but when he did I wasn't scared, I didn't feel uncomfortable, I didn't think of an excuse, it took me two seconds to say "yes."

You know about our first date, I wont' go into that. We went fishing with his little girl, and it was a blast. Yet the whole time, I couldn't figure out why everything felt so right. On the way back down from the mountain I couldn't figure out why I wanted to hold his hand, I felt so right but yet so confused. After he dropped me off, I missed him. I didn't play the game of "I'll wait for him to text me..." I didn't even think about how long I needed to wait to text him or ask him out again. 

Every date we had after that was simple, and so perfect.

The first time we held hands I had butterflies

The first time we kissed, it could've been a movie, it was that romantic.

I knew I was falling in love, and I was falling hard & fast and for the first time it was finally mutual. For the first time I wasn't forcing something to happen, I wasn't trying to have a relationship with someone who said they didn't want one, and I wasn't trying to be the game-changer. 

My life was flipped upside down in the best way. 

"I'm never moving back to Vernal"

"I'm never marrying a guy from Vernal"

Never say never. 

Oh there's so many more stories to tell, but not enough time but lets just say I love that man more than I did when we first started dating. I thought I was in love with him then, but my love for him grows every single day. 

I challenge you all to "remember when" with your significant other. Life gets hectic, and we get dealt a difficult hand, we all have our struggles and we all get busy. Next time you have a date night, or it's just you two hanging out, talk about it. It almost gives your relationship a "refresh" and I fall in love with him all over again when we talk about it, I find out things I didn't know that he felt or things that he remembers that I don't. 

When was the last time you talked about the beginning of your relationship with your significant other? Were his feelings the same as yours?  Did he find you, or did you find him?